Expectation without agenda
We often speak about approaching God, seeking his face for our lives and those of others we’re praying for, while expecting great answers to prayer. So we focus on our needs, as we see them. We believe we’re ministering to others, focusing on Christ, putting Him first, doing God’s will. Perhaps we are, perhaps we miss the mark sometimes, too.
What’s amazing about God and His “higher ways” is: For Him, it’s often not about the “assignment” we believe we must complete. Invariably, it’s about what God is doing in us as we minister to others and serve.
Okay, we expect God to do a work. And we should. But what’s our agenda? That is, as we go into prayer with an attitude of expectancy, are we secretly hiding a to-do list, full of tasks for God to complete that involve something we believe He should do in others? Or, even when our to-do list involves ourselves, do we realize our limited perception of God, the world and our own spiritual state?
What if God’s plan for the day is not only to begin with the person sitting across from us, or with the thing we want Him to fix in our lives? What if He’s working at a completely different level, an unexpectedly deeper or different one? What do we do with our to-do list then?
As The Loft group piled into the church van and their various cars on that chilly evening of November 30, the sense that God was going to do something was vivid. We were headed for Liebenzell Retreat Center, a place to get away from the busyness of our routines, to be away with God and one another for 72 hours, as well as to enjoy the fresh winter air and landscape of Schooley’s Mountain.
“The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.”
Our scriptural discussion on the Holy Spirit was to serve as a basis for understanding how God manifests to us, fills us, baptizes us in His Holy Spirit; but not as a means to dictate to God how He should do that for us on our weekend. We went in with good teaching and a healthy dose of expectation, but no hidden agenda.
Yes, God is amazing. His Holy Spirit, although tender and unobtrusive, is very powerful. How can I not yield myself to this kind of God? Still, how do I sit before someone, who is asking me to pray for a specific problem, and not have an “agenda”? Easier than one may think: Let Him take over, shut up, and listen.
As I sat on the floor of one of the dimly-lit conference rooms we had prepared for group discussion and worship that night, listening to one man’s prayer requests and struggles, an intense sense of God’s peace overwhelmed both of us. The tears that came, the candid nature of the words uttered, the repentance, the joy, the filling, were clearly His doing.
Among our group that night, and over the whole weekend, Christ, our peacemaker, our reconciler, our SAVIOR, shattered misconceptions, dissipated presuppositions, broke grudges, soothed pain, gave freedom. Fears were voiced, sorrows lamented, complaints admitted, apologies made. Oh, and how can I forget … the joy of our salvation was sung in one loud – unified – voice, evidenced by much laughter and revealed in quiet, tired smiles.
Did God show up according to our agenda? Certainly not. Was His work any less luminous than we expected? Silly question. It was more brilliant that we ever could have imagined, more filling than anything the world offers. The wind blows wherever it wants.
God we love you. You are amazing.
Yours forever, The Loft.
